People from Guangdong love to drink morning tea, and every time you go to a hotel, the waiter will ask you, “What tea would you like to drink?”
At this moment, everyone’s first reaction is probably to think of teas like Tieguanyin or Pu’er.
However, they may not realize that we can actually order a pot of boiled water or a bottle of soda.
Why is that?
Because the waiter has set a framework called “tea,” which confines our thinking.
What is a “frame”?
NLP psychology believes that everyone has different experiences, environments, families, and beliefs, leading to different perceptions and interpretations of the world.
For the same thing, what seems bad to Person A may seem good to Person B.
For example, three people are watching the scenery:
The first person is of normal height, and they see the beautiful flowers and birds at the bottom;
The second person is standing on a stool, taller than the first, and sees severe industrial pollution;
The third person has many books stacked under their feet, even taller than the second, and they see the stars and the sea.
In reality, we are the same; we think what we see within the frame is everything, not realizing that there is a more wonderful world outside the frame.
In fact, opportunities may be right beside you; all you need to do is reach out and step out of the frame.
Just like in daily life, many people always lament that their children love to play and are unwilling to study, employees are too sluggish to finish their work on time, and this project is too difficult for them to handle… Why can others succeed while they find it so difficult?
We often complain that our lives are a mess, without considering whether there are other possibilities beyond this perspective.
So, if you encounter something not very pleasant, don’t rush to worry or feel anxious; instead, you can first ask yourself in your mind: “If this matter has value/benefit for me, what would that value/benefit be?”
This is also a technique in NLP called the “Frame Change Method.”
What is the Frame Change Method?
The Frame Change Method can be divided into four main categories:
1. Word Frame Change
In our thought framework, there are some key words; often changing them can lead to a dramatic change in the entire belief.
For example, if a person often says, “This matter is too difficult, I can’t do it,” then they are likely to really not be able to do it.
However, if the same meaning is expressed differently, it feels different: “This matter is too difficult; I can’t think of a solution for now.”
This way, it leaves a lot of room for personal growth.
2. Environment Frame Change
This means changing the situation to different people, events, things, times, and places.
For example, a mother says to her child: “You don’t love studying enough.”
Have you ever thought:
“When does the child love studying more?”
“With whom do they love studying more?”
“What do they love? Can it be applied to studying?”
This changes the negative reaction into a positive one, realizing the meaning and role of specific behaviors in certain situations.
3. Meaning Frame Change
Looking at the same thing from another perspective allows oneself to develop in the desired direction. When the negative meaning of an event turns positive, the event remains unchanged, but the person feels much better.
For example, someone had their beloved bicycle stolen after four years; they are very upset and angry about it.
However, the item is already lost, and no amount of sadness can bring it back. Holding onto that sadness only negatively impacts one’s health.
But if you think from another angle, perhaps losing that bicycle can be a “happy” experience: “I lost my bicycle, and I’m so happy because I can get a new one!”
4. Timeline Frame Change
On the timeline, there is not only the past and present, but also the future. When encountering issues, it might be helpful to extend the timeline to see if you can find something different.
For example.
Under the pandemic, many people lament that business is becoming increasingly difficult.
Have you ever thought about what things will be like three, five, or ten years from now?
You might say: It’s already so difficult now, it will be even harder in a few years.
Assuming that is true, shouldn’t you prepare early?
The timeline frame change focuses more on shifting the attention from the problem itself to solving the problem rather than getting stuck on the problem itself.
How to Use the Frame Change Method?
I read a little story.
The old monk teased the young monk: “If you go forward, you’ll fall off a cliff; if you go backward, you’ll be bitten by a tiger. What should you do?”
The young monk replied, “I’ll run to the left.”
In one sentence, he broke through the framework set by the old monk.
The larger your frame, the larger your world.
Many times, we feel helpless and unable to do anything, but it’s often self-imposed limitations, confining ourselves within our own thought frameworks.
If you believe that you can create a happy/successful/good life, then the whole world will change because of you.
